Mar 2009 - The Middle Place, by Kelly Corrigan

Friends, Readers, Radicals...Lend me your eyes!

Following are the (unedited, it's late, sorry) notes I got. For the most part, this time I did not work hard to attribute remarks to a particular person, just spoke in general. Like, don't like?

As always, please comment and add what I've forgotten. :)

April 3, 2009
Host - Janell
Book - The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan

Radical Chatter
- Janell’s house was a delicious setting of comfort and food and friends!
- So sorry Lisa (impending birthday party preparation) and Jade (fresh from the treacherous mountain roadtrip) weren’t able to join us.
- Welcome Sadie and Suzie, Kristen and Sarah’s friends from the Highlands area!
- Again, the buffet was a treat that merits mention: banana bread, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate chip ginger bread with “whipper cream,” grapes and cheese and crackers, Kristen (aka Chai Walla)’s incredible chai, wine, pepper-jelly cream cheese spread, and more???

The Middle Place
- It seemed almost everyone had read some of the book, and most of us had time to finish. When does that happen?? Comments I remember:
- The voice of the editor was strong within the book. Seemed like there was a desire (on editor’s part?) to build a parallel between author and father’s illnesses. Question: was the book supposed to be about father/daughter relationship or breast cancer? Answers: Both? Because it was her memoir, she could choose to do whatever she wanted.
- KC (Kelly Corrigan, author) imparted that support through her relationships were key to her recovery.
- People are so different. Many of us would not have had the first instinct upon diagnosis to send out a mass email to all friends and relatives sharing the news, upbeat as it was. Gregarious personality.
- She was so honest about her need to be worshipped. Got that from the way her father treated her growing up; and she needed to find a husband who could continue that treatment of her.
- Speaking of her father, Greenie, would anyone find his personality annoying? In the book, we think maybe his wife did, at times. And the cashier who didn’t care to banter with him (hear about how great his daughter was).
- The description of the genetic counselor who spoke to Edward (the hubby) when KC couldn’t provide answers was pretty narrow and negative. Not realistic, probably. But in those situations, people have to find a place to vent or release, and the counselor can often be that person. And sometimes they become “the messenger.”
- We talked about Kelly’s picking the fight with Edward when they were on their weekend away. She complained that he was in constant contact with his family, calling them the instant they got into the hotel at his alma mater. Is she resentful of the fact that he isn’t eager to move back to her home town so she can be close to her family?
- This book made us think about the health and mortality of our own parents. It’s hard for us to sit by and watch them make choices we don’t agree with; we want them to make them make healthier choices. When we worry about them, we have to accept that we can’t make choices for them, but we can take comfort in thinking about how much we love them.
- We touched briefly on the essay that Kelly read on YouTube. It’s beautiful how it speaks to the power of relationships between women. Many of us have watched it and forwarded it on to friends.
- Many of us related to the “mom” moments within the book. One radical’s mom had commented that it’s great when you can find a book that you can relate to. Is this one that our moms would enjoy as well? Though some anecdotes are funny to us because times and techniques have changed for mothering in our generation, we think our moms would enjoy this even if they might relate more to Kelly’s mom than to Kelly. And we think our moms might relate to Kelly as well.
- We remarked that Kelly’s mom didn’t have a big role in the book, wanted more on her.
- We talked about how some things that were essential for moms of earlier generations (spotless houses, home-cooked meals, etc.) are not maybe as obligatory these days. We’ve become more “relaxed.” Or have we? Are we just anal about different things now?
- That led us to the discussion of how much there is to do, especially since so many moms are working now, and we talked briefly about the ever-present dilemma of stay-at-home vs. working moms. There’s societal pressure and pressure from the family working on us as we make the choice to work or stay home or find some combination that works. We’re happy that there’s more acceptance of whatever-works-for-you is the right decision. More than before.

Etc.
- We told Suzie and Sadie about our most recent “book,” last month’s selection was Your Choice of Printz or Caldecott or Newbury award winners from the last three years. A few favs: Sherman Alexie’s The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian (“wonderful! Must read!”), some Isabelle Allend books (esp for teen boys), How I Live Now, Spanking Shakespeare, Jellicoe Road (“this was difficult to read” “definitely some heavy topics addressed” “couldn’t put it down”).
- In general publishing tends to lean toward boys. (Not sure I got all of this. Anyone want to expound?) Reading to boys, Sarah often reads a lot of non-fiction, and even when reading fiction, does it through a NF lens.
- Sarah’s pick – still to be finalized, but maybe: Ann Fadiman’s At Large and At Small: Familiar Essays, She also loved her Ex Libris: Confessions of a Common Reader. Also considering (or just mentioning, now I’ve forgotten) The Ladies Lending Library, as a “lovely cottage read.”
- Also mentioned: Bryce Courtenay’s Power of One, Jessica, and Tandia. That’s all I have on those. Were they also in consideration as SarahSelections? Oh, was this where we said maybe it’d be a choose-your-own Bryce Courtenay? Or was it choose-your-own Ann Fadiman? Bueller?
- How can we channel our creativity and inspiration from some of our book selections into some activism? One idea: Sign up for the Komen Race for the Cure, building on Kelly Corrigan’s battle with cancer. Also the sewers in the group might be able to stitch up some matching girl/doll skirts to donate to single mothers who will be able to give the gift of something handmade with love. Keep the ideas flowing!

- Next book: The History of Love, Nicole Krauss.
That should be followed by Maguire's Wicked, to be discussed in June since it's quite long. Then Brooks' People of the Book in July, and Gaiman's Neverwhere in August, Sarah's TBD selection in September, and Amber's choice of The Painter from Shanghai by Cody in October.